from Chapter One)
Here are ten very common sayings that will help you understand ten key American cultural values. I call them the "Ten Commandments of American Culture" even though they are not really "commandments." They have no religious or moral authority like the "Ten Commandments" of the Bible do for Jews and Christians. However, if you break any of these "cultural commandments," many Americans might think you do not fit very well in America. This book will help you avoid the problem by learning to understand American expectations. While you are learning about American values, some of your American friends may also want to learn about the values of your own country. Please do discuss these things with us. If you can help us understand you better, you enrich our lives.
is probably the highest value in American life. It relates to so many other
characteristics of American life-individualism, freedom, goal-setting, progress,
experimenting, social mobility, making money, pragmatism, and optimism. Americans
want to "make a success of themselves." This is the "American
Dream" which has attracted millions of immigrants and has been taught to
generations of American children. Everyone wants to be a success at something.
If you do not think that way, you may be considered a failure. It is almost
impossible to criticize success. For example, if an employee does something
without properly consulting his supervisor, and as a result the company gets
a big contract with a new customer, the employee will get much more praise than
blame. The success of getting the new contract may be more important than the
failure to consult a superior. Sometimes people will even say cheating is justified
if it brings success. Other people, however, may disagree.
Americans love freedom and privacy. In a way that means we love to be left alone. We don't want anyone interfering in our affairs, giving us advice, or trying to run our lives. We want people to "stay off our backs," "stay out of our way," and "mind their own business." Perhaps Live and let live should be listed as the first commandment of American culture, even more important than success. It means that no one should object to anyone else's way of living. If you like opera and I like country music, that is fine. If you want to get married and I want to live with someone without marrying her, that is fine too. Neither of us should try to influence the other or object to the way the other lives. If we are not tolerant of other people, we may damage their self-esteem. To attack someone's self-esteem is to break one of the most basic rules of American life.
try to have as much fun as possible. Much of our fun comes through various kinds
of entertainment, especially TV. But we also try to turn other activities into
fun. Shopping is fun. Eating is fun, and in case it is not enough fun, we will
put a playground inside the fast-food restaurant so the kids can have fun playing
while the grown-ups have fun sitting and eating. Learning to read can be turned
into fun, as the Sesame Street TV programs show. Americans look for careers
that are fun (although not many succeed). Having fun is the major preoccupation
of youth, retired people, and many of those in between. In most situations Americans
are very time-conscious. However, we forget to watch the clock when we are having
fun. That is why "time flies," that is, time seems to go by very quickly.
Americans (especially American women) shop as a form of recreation. Even if
we are not shopping for anything in particular, we simply enjoy looking at all
the options. We love the whole process of choosing what to buy and where to
buy it. It is a major topic of social conversation. If you want to impress an
American friend, convince him or her that you are a "smart shopper."
The saying, Shop till you drop, is never used seriously as a command and yet
it holds a serious meaning. We are perhaps the ultimate consumer society, and
this saying describes us so well that it could be our national motto.
people of action. We do not like too much planning. That seems indecisive and
perhaps a waste of time. We do not like rules and regulations that prevent action.
We strongly dislike authority structures where people are expected to inform
several other people before they do anything. We get an idea and we want to
just do it. Action is seen as the key to success. Action is more valuable than
planning, checking regulations, or informing people.
commandment ties together the themes of several other commandments-freedom,
fun, initiative and time. It is a command to enjoy life to the full, taking
advantage of every opportunity that comes along. For example, this is why lots
of university students flock to the Florida beaches for spring break but the
40-year-olds don't. Adult responsibilities and schedules put an end to the freedom
Human rights and dignity are so basic to American thinking that we assume everyone else must think the same way. This proverb implies the command, "Stand up for your rights." In the American Revolution, America as a nation said to Britain, Enough is enough, that is, "You have ruled us for long enough. You will not rule us any more." As we saw in Commandment 2, Live and let live, Americans do not want people interfering in their lives. When we sense interference, we push it away.
rules most of the time, but we see rules as someone else's idea of how we should
do things. We think the rule might have been appropriate in some other situation
but it might not be appropriate for our situation now. Therefore we break it
and do what we think is a better idea. This proverb implies the commandment,
"Think for yourself in every situation. Do not just obey rules." Though
Americans say, Rules are made to be broken, we never say, "Laws are made
to be broken." Laws are official legal "rules" and we proudly
claim that in America, "No one is above the law."
are very time-conscious and very money-conscious. Many of us get paid by the
hour for the work we do. We give the employer our time in order to get money.
The idea that time is money has gotten into our minds so deeply that it affects
our whole lives. Wasting time is as bad as wasting money, so we schedule everything
and we hurry everywhere. We often signal the end of a phone conversation or
a meeting by saying, "Well, I don't want to take up any more of your time."
If you really want to annoy an American, sit down and talk as if you have nothing
else to do for the rest of the day. You will be breaking the Ninth Commandment
of American culture, "Don't waste time."
list of "Ten Commandments," one might expect that God would be mentioned
in the first commandment rather than the last one. But in American culture,
God actually does come at the end of the list. For most Americans, God is much
less a concern than success, money and time. (There are many Americans who put
God at the top of their personal list of priorities, but they are a minority
within American culture.)
God helps those who help themselves could mean, "God rewards people who
work hard" or it could mean, "God doesn't really help anyone. Your
success depends on you, not God." Either way, the proverb points to the
same commandment, "Whether you believe in God or not, work as hard as you
can." It is better to be independent than to depend on other people.
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